Our story, Part two

Lucky. Blessed. Miracle. Those are the only words I can think of to describe both of my pregnancies. We conceived very quickly both times and I can't help but wonder, Why us? Why were we so lucky when some couples try for years? We don't take our blessings lightly and have come to realize that sometimes the answer is simply, Because.

I remember posting this announcement on our blog a couple years ago. It sounds so weird to say "a couple years ago" - it feels like yesterday in some ways. I remember being in awe - that it happened so quickly for us. I remember Daddy's bear hug and his laughter. Him running around to find the camera so we could tell Acadia. We told her minutes after we had found out. Giddy with excitement and disbelief, that our baby was about to become a big sister.

I remember this day like it was yesterday. Truly one of the happiest days of my life. We weren't going to find out the sex of the baby and just like that - in the room with the doctor, we changed our minds at the exact same second. Too impersonal for us to find out in front of a stranger what our futures would be - blue balloons at each birthday or pink? - we asked him to write down our fate. To put it in an envelope so we could bring it home and find out together. I braced myself. I pictured the letters b-o-y. I repeatedly told myself that I would be happy with a boy. That I wouldn't be completely devastated if Acadia didn't have a sister.

I remember being SO nervous. Knowing that this tiny piece of paper was about to change our lives. Matt went to open the note and I didn't realize it was folded twice. He opened it and I was expecting to see the word and instead just saw that it was now folded in half instead of quarters and I said, Stop! Wait! Wait! I wasn't ready. I took a breath, picturing the word, Boy, so I wouldn't be disappointed. I finally told him I was ready, and then I saw the word I was hoping to see all along. Right there in black and white. Girl.

It took me a second to register it and when I did, I lost it. My girls' lives flashed before my eyes. Painting each other's nails. Secrets they can only tell each other...secrets that you would only tell your sister. Fighting over clothes. Tea parties. Weddings. Dresses. Mommy and daughter lunches. Best friends.

It was in that moment when I was sobbing so hard I couldn't breathe that I realized what I knew all along. That I wanted....no...I needed for Acadia to have a Michelle for her very own. For Acadia to have a soul mate, like I do. For Acadia to have someone who is so in love with you, that they would do anything for you. Anything. For Acadia to have someone she can call up at 2 in the morning when she's crying about her latest breakup. To know that her sister will drag herself out of bed at 2 am and come over with ice cream and wine, just to make her feel better. Someone who, even once married, will still be your best friend. Will still call you every day and e-mail you countless times a day. Someone who is so loyal to you that when you have an argument with your husband in front of her will defend you to no end, taking your side. And only later, when you tell her you were wrong...that your husband was right all along...will she take your hand, and whisper in your ear, I know. Best friends are wonderful. But sisters? They are indescribable.